Troof.
Besides being a delicately (see: Axe Murderer) constructed audio submission, it contains the truth of many a demise of a potential "artist". People must listen to this 'bloody long essay', at least new people, to grasp what their fates shall be like if they do not follow the advice of their elders, to learn and grow and be respected in the woodland full of faerie creatures.
As their falsely constructed empires of praise and mercy upon their 2-minute works fall down around them, exposing the very crappy down core of their self-esteem, we shall direct them to this literary dictation - people deserve to know that which has banished them why, and just how lowly the woodland creatures actually thought about them.
As for the submission itself, it's obviously parodical. You might want to try and brush up on your English accents and actually try to make it sound legitimate - sometimes, the best parodies are the ones you don't know are parodies. Theres also an annoying lisp constant throughout the piece, along with that little "thrown voice" thingie that always appears when someone is blatantly throwing their voice. As I absolutely no idea and experience what it's like to be a Voice Actor, I'll not waste time trying to suggest anything to fix that up.
The descriptive language was good, and I can see this being adapted into a flash movie of sorts, just to let people know what an unforgiving and horrible place the Art Forum can be without proper caution. Something along the lines of that Red Riding Hood movie where everyone got eaten. A right proper warning to the newbies, good sir. You've done a favour to the community and deserve to be justly rewarded. Failing that, you get a cookie.