Lintire's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Soybean]

I can't deny that it's one hell of an advertisement, dude. Threw in a few fat ones to your Patreon, as confusing as that whole system is.

Fuck is a Term, anyway?

Oh and great work on the animation and all that.

MiltoniusArts responds:

Thank you Sir! I just messaged you on Patreon! Yeah it's definitely not a perfect system. There's still a lot of things about it that confuse me too. But I'm slowly figuring out how to best use it for what I need to do. Basically the Terms mean I collect 1 to 2 times per month depending on the content. But I've only been collecting 1 time per month since I started. I guess I could change the word term to animation but that would confuse people too since I release 1 small animation per week. I'll figure something out...

Thank you for the kind words and thank you again for your support. It's much appreciated! :)

[Kiss La Kiss]

Parodies work better when they aren't brimming with utter contempt and loathing for the audience, the product, and yourself for having made them. I couldn't have felt more barely restrained hate for the subject matter if you had made a fifteen minute video of yourself violently screaming directly into Ragyo's mouth.

On a more sincere note it just felt lazy and uninspired - references that only people who are dangerously involved with the community that surrounds this thing would get, over any actual wit or send-up.

Yeah, Mako would fuck Gamagoori if the "shippers" got their way, and Satsuki was designed with some pretty big fuckin' eyebrows. That's hardly even a sendup of the anime, that's a sendup of the "fandom's" sendups. Which have already been sent-up multiple times.

With the one joke sprinkled in between that ("we haven't kissed" being subverted with "let's have anal sex" which was pretty funny) the entire animation was a limp exercise in lack of energy, for all the wacky overacting it had.

A lot of people have been complaining about it not making sense, which should be taken to heart. With better parodies like Airplane, Naked Gun or even the Metal Gear Awesome series - it didn't matter whether or not you knew what they were referencing, you still knew what was going in in the context of the parody itself and it was funnier because of the established context.

You can do better. You HAVE done better. And if you're doing this for the sake of doing this, as your author description hints at: to keep a slavering horde of your fans off your back? Then maybe you should tell them to Kill la Kill themselves.

Speedo responds:

ooo
thank you

[Parasitemas]

My cock is all for you. And anus. Take me.

What the FUCK, YOU GUYS? Why the fuck is this piece of animation here? Why the fuck did it rest on the frontpage and within a collection, content to fade out of existence?

Why is this no out winning Oscars and having schools dedicated to it?

This is, without a doubt the single best file on the internet. This is true art, and this is what everybody who fucking DARES to pick up a pencil should be studying, to even attempt to gain the level of pure undiluted art that this flash has achieved would be blashpemy.

Everything about it screams about its place utop the Mountain of Souls, spitting at mere mortal flashes that pass it. The subtle poignancy of an anal prolapse and the life that it gives, the vicious metaphor of human interaction as the tapeworms exit one uretha and enter another.

The unlikely parody of Christian dominance on pagan fairytales as the personification of God uses the mutilated fairy as lubricant for his fabulous masturbating.

You... have achieved greatness. Tears stream out of my eyes as I write this, and my cock throbs with every tap of the key. There should be shrines dedicated to the sheer ART, THE SHEER FUCKING ART, of the flash.

Make like The Elder Scrolls, and force your worshipers to worship you in the wilderness at the inevitable cults formation around this flash. It is a wonder that it doesn't already exist.

You should do this, because while this Flash Shames God Himself we still need a functioning society for these holy tapeworms to copulate vigorously in, and visible shrines would undoubtedly cause people to cast down their works and pray.

Pray, to you.

All of you.

I, personally, thank you for creating this flash. Pacmanic, Hulalaoo, MasterAardvark, and Spazkid.

When I masturbate tonight, it will be done in lovely tune to =DanceOfTheBells= and it shall be done thinking...

Of you.

*sniff*

OrganizedApeShape responds:

LOL

["...is Done" ROBOTDAY2010]

EPILEPTIC ORGASM (with toast)

A Short Summary for all those who can't be bothered to wait patiently while this, probably the best Flash to ever be conceived, loads:

A random robot dances off a random black guy, ejaculates toast onto a random chick, does drugs, and beats the crap out of a hooker to get his money back. End Flash.

If THAT didn't convince you to watch this Flash, worship it, and then subsequently hail praise among its creator, the almighty phantomZ, then frankly you don't belong on internet, let alone Facebook.

How did you do it? How did you summon the will of the Gods to funnel their will, their very ESSENCE, into your creativity? Because you've shown us the way, in this flash. I am so very glad.

phantomZ responds:

Best Fucking Review.

[[QZ] - Stellar Pythons]

A Visual, and experimental masterpiece!

Did you have to milk the udder of the God-Cow to create such... magnificence? Such Triumph? I bow down before this, for all my base are belong to you. Let us partake in the delicious cereal that is this Flash, and hope that you deign to let lap the fallen milk that spills from your godly lips!

I can only imagine the amount of dedication and work that went into this. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE! What deeds did you have to do in order to gain these skills? My eyes, they feel the lusty thrusts of your creativity, and I can never hope to match your prowess in animation, in presentation, and in all walks of life you lead us to these great and almighty flashes!

Tell me, how did you do it? How did you gain such magnificence? Beat the odds?

This flash - it starts off in concerto, the anxious beat rising with each separate entry. The way that you've woven these flashes together, into a single cohesive, hive-minded form is legendary. I don't think I've ever seen the likes of it.

Then it cuts to the drama, the action, and the buildup towards the finale. I can't tell you how I gripped the edge of my chair, anxiously hoping that the protagonists made it through the scene, yelling at them furiously to not open those doors, to not witness those scenes. Masterful, once again!

And the finale - the tragic, heart-wrenching finale. I cried. Bitterly, as a sad wretched form, witnessing what happened. You've ended it on the best possible note, making it as dearly memorable as possible. i shan't ever forget this flash.

I don't think I can write any more - this is too much for me, I cannot handle its greatness. Good work - CloudObler, Spac3case916, Himynameisjacob, and HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN - you've made this world a better place. Thank you.

I have to wipe... my eyes. They're very sweaty. Yes.

CloudObler responds:

I thank you for your deep and truthful words Lintire.

[Quest of the Manwhore]

Absorbing Sex from the Atmosphere

I now actually use this as mantage music to exercising - which is to say, I loop it over on my mp3 over 30 or so times, at a time, and still don't get sick of it. In fact, I use it as a tool, a weapon of mass sensuality in order to gain sexiness while training my body to be lusted over.

There will only be one manwhore, but that manwhore's infectiousness shall grant only benevolence to those who take in his implied teachings.

That's how damn good the song is. Sexual-Lobster, you should be writing erotic serenades to the masses of sexually-trained women awaiting at palace tops, being ravished in celebration while they listen to your auditory prowess.

Was also a pretty damn funny videos - loved the humour behind it.

Just so awesome its brilliant. I have to do something in honour of this magnificent achievement. A tribute to this pinnacle of erotic success.

[Luminiscense]

Shallow Eye-Candy, really.

Great art, passable voice-acting, and the camera angles certainly did a lot to help this flash.

However, all in all, this is really just a very simple, very forgettable drama that happens to have a good art direction. The constant emphasis on dialogue suddenly giving way to something more metaphorical and action-based cancels itself out on a big level, and it really does feel as if there was no real planning to the flash beyond a simple script write-up and whatnot.

It's a shame that the flash itself doesn't live up to it's art, because it really is good art - the simple characters, the lineless backgrounds and the expansive landscapes all really add in for a great atmosphere.

I'd say to storyboard, to work out the kinks, before going in for the eye-candy. At the moment, it seems a bit... lame.

All the same, good work.

[Africa Dudes]

What is this I don't even...

WORST. COLLAB. EVER.

I'm serious, after the first time watching it, I was ready to castrate myself and shove my balls in my ears to prevent myself from watching it again. It was so horribly long and longwinded that my eyes were bleeding from my asshole. MY ASSHOLE. THAT'S NOT EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE AND IT HAPPENED.

Which means that you've accomplished exactly what you were aiming to accomplish. Gratz, Stamper, nice collab, you achieved exactly the effect you were aiming for, with horrible jokes, horrible jokes, and more horrible jokes. The art was good, alright, but the jokes were the main attraction, and they were a shit-fest.

Now, I'm favouriting this, but you have to excuse me while I wash the blood from every orifice in my body.

[Incident:001A]

Moosh, you great big fucker!

Okay, in a short canon little fictional thingamajig you've already managed to outplay most of your fans in an instant in both terms of humour and using your own sprites. I have to say, I giggled at Hank's depravity and sick sense of humour, myself, and seeing little shorts like these always brightens up my day.

and on Madness day, that's something hard to do.

Anyway, great job, Krinkels, as always, and I do hope to see moar madness. And anything else you manage to whip up.

[Madness: Lactation]

Rabbits can Quack?

I replayed this about 10 times over and laughed each time - in a nutshell, you've done a great job of capturing both Madness and Randomness and chucked them into one flash that I just want to hug. all the same, it's probably best that this flash is kept somewhere safe where humourless people can't taint it to rid it of the lulz.

I'll keep it on my favourites list, that should do the trick.